Love…and women :))
If you haven’t contemplated murder,you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t seriously thought about killing the motherfucker, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll they ass up in, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t practiced your alibi in front of the mirror… you ain’t been in love. The only thing that stopped you from killing this motherfucker was an episode of CSI.
That’s right, man. See, relationships are hard.
But in order for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page. Both people have to have the same focus…and the focus is all about her.
Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say,”Fuck you. Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans,fuck everything you thought this life was gonna bring you.Now let’s go out there
and try and make this bitch happy.”
Yes.It’s all about her, fellas. Say yes to everything.Everything. Everything you can afford,say yes to.Just say yes. Before she even gets it out of her fucking mouth.
“Honey, can…” Yes. “Honey, I…” Yes.
Just get a stamp.Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Another thing, fellas – don’t argue.
You cannot win.
You cannot beat a woman in an argument, it’s impossible.
You will not win, cos men… we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cos we have a need to make sense.
Women ain’t gonna let a little thing like sense fuck up they argument.
Cos she not in it for sense, she’s in it for distance and irritation.
“How long can I talk before this motherfucker snaps?”
They want you to shake the shit out of them till you hear the cops coming.
“Motherfucker, I’m serious!
“Oh, shit, let me get the fuck outta here.”
But here’s one thing nobody tells you. You can’t make a woman happy. It’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life.Women are always complaining about something.
Women like to complain, women save up shit to complain about.
“He don’t even know I know but I’m gonna get his ass on that shit next month.”
No matter what you do, she’ll be mad. You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick
and make her come ten times, she’ll still complain.
“Why’d you make me come so hard?
“This diamond dick is cloudy.
“Why didn’t you go to Tiffany’s?
You’re so fucking cheap.”
No matter what you do, your woman is mad at you.If you work all the time, “Why you workall the time? You ain’t never home.
“You always leavin’ me. I hate this shit.”
If you home all the time, “Why you all up under me? Let me get some fucking room to breathe.
“Damn, stop sweatin’ me. I hate this shit.”
If you make more money than her. “Fuck you. I wanna make decisions too. “You ain’t my fucking daddy, I don’t need you to take care of me.
“I hate this shit.”
If she makes more money than you,”You broke motherfucker.
“You never have no fucking money.Fuck this shit.
“I don’t wanna make all these decisions.I need to be taken care of.”I hate this shit. I can’t take it.”
And the number one reason your woman’s always mad, fellas,the number one reason your woman is pissed the fuck off…cos you ain’t her first choice.
Fellas, you ever catch your woman just looking at you but not saying nothing?In her mind, she’s thinking, “How did I end up with this ugly motherfucker?”Oh, Lord, this motherfucker’s ugly and stupid “I had a good man and I blew it.
“Damn, Lord, kill my man. Kill him, please. “Kill him while I still look good enough to ]get something new.
“Please kill this motherfucker now.Strike him! Strike him!
“If you out there, Lord, strike this motherfucker dead.”
Hareth
uneksia
ROCK-ON
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